These Hilarious Pie Charts Are Too Cool for School

When You Hear These Two Words, Just Run

Oh., we have definitely been through this before. People will tell you, "no offense," and then promptly say the most despicable, insulting things the human mind has ever conjured. Like, how are we supposed to not be offended by that? There are, however, a few occasions in which the no offense card is actually useful. We can't name them off the top of our heads right now, but we're sure they exist. Maybe.

One can't help but wonder if the "no offense" line has actually worked in the past. Like ever in the history of humankind, was anyone not offended?

Little Red Notifications Hurt Our Monkey Brains

This isn't really our fault, given just how much effort goes into making the notifications capture our attention at any given moment. Trained professionals have spent hours upon hours meticulously planning every single detail of our favorite apps and phones. It only makes sense that we'd react to notifications in this way. That being said, we could not tell you what any one of the recent IOS updates actually did.

In other words, the little red notifications trigger our monkey brain and make us want to get rid of them, and that's what we do. It really is as simple as that sometimes.

We're in Trouble if There's No One Else Around

Oh dear lord, we thought this was one of those things that only happened to us. It is both comforting and distressing at the same time to know that this kind of thing also happens to other people. It's comforting because that means we're not crazy and that it happens to other people, and it's natural. It's distressing because that means other people might have noticed this happening to us.

We wonder what the correct course of action is when it comes to this situation. Like, there's always the option to actually ask somebody what their name is and admit that you forgot, but nobody actually does that. Right?

Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

Helicopters in movies only have one thing on their minds, and it's atrocious. Yeah, that's right - we are talking about exploding. Seriously, has anybody seen a helicopter in an action movie not explode? Is that even possible? Is there some unwritten law that every helicopter in a Hollywood blockbuster will suffer a miserable, explosive fate? We need to assemble the screenwriting association for this one. Maybe they'll shed some light on the situation.

We may have come up with our own answer to our question that might hold up until the screenwriters explain themselves. From a budgetary standpoint, it kind of makes sense to have a helicopter blow up if you went to the trouble of buying one. Getting the most bang for your buck and whatnot.

The Most Genuine Pie Chart There Ever Was

Yeah, by now, it's no secret that this person has a special place in their heart for pies. They have made that very clear with this unique pie chart demonstrating the reasons why they're not so fit. Well, really, it's just one reason: they like pie. This is our favorite pun ever about a pie chart. Like all the other pie jokes always fall flat, but not this one.

One can also not help but wonder what kind of pie was there before it was totally guzzled down. Was it a peach pie? Perhaps it was a chocolate pie.

And Then Just Lay There as Your Anxiety Gets Worse

We don't know what kind of demon possesses people throughout these sleepless nights, but when the clock strikes 4 AM and the hours until the alarm clock goes off are being eaten at by the slow march of time, people tend to become elite math wizards capable of the most complex calculations known to man. If you're like us, you don't just count down the hours until the alarm clock rings.

You do more than that - you compare the amount of sleep you'll get to other days on which you slept just as poorly and convince yourself you'll be alright.

Pretty Sure Flipping the Board's in the Rule Book Somewhere

When the people of the extremely far future dig through the ruins of our civilization and find the Monopoly board game, we are pretty sure they're going to think that it was some kind of elaborate torture device. There's a certain golden rule when it comes to Monopoly, an unwritten rule: every single Monopoly game always ends in pain. Someone will leave the game with less joy in their eyes than before.

Okay, maybe we are being a little bit overdramatic, but there's definitely something to say about how tedious Monopoly can be at times. Seriously, we never knew we had such rage in us.

9 Out of 10 Dentists Agree: Floss Is Deadly

We've all been there. We've all tried to take care of our dental health, only to suffer a fatal blow from the very thing that was supposed to keep our pearly whites shiny, clean, healthy, and beautiful. It is often understated just how deadly a piece of floss can truly be when it's in the wrong (and by wrong, we mean clumsy) hands, free to amputate the tips of our fingers.

And yet, floss is one of those things that we can't live with and can't bear to live without. It is an important tool for the upkeeping of dental hygiene. Curse it.

Netflix and Chill? There's Nothing Chill About Choosing a Show

Anyone who has actually gone through the grueling process of trying to pick something to watch on Netflix knows firsthand that there is nothing chill about Netflix and chill. There's just way too much to choose from; it can make a person anxious. It's even worse trying to figure out what to watch as a couple or in a group - sometimes we just give up on the whole thing and play a board game instead.

That's just how hard it is to pick a show to watch on Netflix in a group - it'd be easier to play a game of Monopoly and suffer. Seriously.

The Only Appropriate Reaction

At this stage in life, as we get older and our birthday becomes less of a celebration and more of a morbid reminder of what's to come, there's really only one reaction to people singing you Happy Birthday: sit there waiting for it to end. In fact, even when we were younger, we struggled with this. We've never been more socially anxious than when people sang Happy Birthday to us.

The worst thing about it is that we can't even get mad at them. They're just trying to do something nice for us on our special day. It's all one big misunderstanding.

This Is Why Our Friends Think They're so Funny

Oh no. This pie chart is on to us. We truly did think that we were the only people in the universe that this happened to, given that nobody's ever done this to us. Well, maybe they have, and we just didn't notice, which might be a good thing. After all, if nobody noticed that we didn't hear a word they said and just cracked out a laugh to get them off our backs, then no harm was done.

On the other hand, if somebody did notice and didn't tell us, well, that would be horrible. That impression would be forever etched into their mind. We'd forever be the people who randomly laughed for no reason—a terrible fate.

Procrastination Is a Talent on Its Own

There's probably one person in the world that utilizes his study time efficiently, and we take our hats off to whoever that is. Seriously, we don't know how people do it. How do they just forget everything, sit down, concentrate, and study for hours while only taking short breaks intermittently to avoid getting burnt out? The further we stray from our college selves, the more it seems like an impossible task.

This chart is way too accurate, too. It's not just that we procrastinate - we procrastinate by telling every single person in our contact list that we have got to study. Too true.

Wait Until the Scooby-Doo Characters Hear About Halloween

It's about time somebody called into question the legal jurisdiction of the Scooby-Doo characters. Like, what's so wrong with dressing up as a spooky ghost and scaring innocent bystanders? Sure, it may not be the nicest thing to do, but it doesn't sound straight-up illegal to us. It sounds like something some random YouTuber would do as a prank. We're actually pretty sure we've seen a video of somebody doing this on YouTube.

We can only imagine how the Scooby-Doo cast would react to Halloween, with all the dressing up as scary monsters and whatnot.

No One Says No to the Godfather

Anybody who managed to watch all the 100 hours or something of The Godfather series knows this thing for certain: When Don Corleone makes you an offer, you have no choice but to accept. When you really think it through, though, the whole thing does raise the question: How can the offer be irrefutable? Doesn't that negate the whole point of an offer? Offers are things that can either be accepted or rejected.

We know this is getting a bit technical, but still. We think that Don Corleone's offer is more of a command than anything else, and we also think that he knows that well enough.

The Good Old Days of Online X-Box

It's always a different person every time, too. It's so weird that our moms have met these twelve-year-old kids that we find on X-Box, and that they've all pursued a romantic relationship with her. It is a bit concerning, actually. Thankfully, these insults are slanderous lies more often than not, and the swarm of incredibly vocal twelve-year-old boys didn't actually date our mothers. This is one of those things that we take for granted in life.

But we should really be thanking our lucky stars that the kids we absolutely destroy on X-Box Live don't take their revenge through our mothers. Yeah, that would be the worst-case scenario.

The House Isn't Burning, We Just Don't Know How to Cook

Smoke detectors have absolutely no chill. They are straight-up savages. We'd just be there, cooking ourselves dinner or whatnot, and they'd just randomly go off without warning. Well, maybe the warning was significant amounts of smoke coming out of our frying pan, but still. It just isn't nice to hear the smoke alarms go off when you're cooking. There's nothing that could insult your cooking skills more than that.

On the other hand, those things do come in handy when there's an actual fire in the house. We wonder how many lives smoke-detecting technology has saved across the world.

Honorable Mention to Samuel L. Jackson

There are probably like three people in the entire world that actually enjoy the sound of their own voices. Well, maybe more if you count all the voice actors and radio hosts out there, but the point still stands: most people absolutely despise the sound of their own voice. Morgan Freeman is definitely not one of them. It is also of our humble opinion that Samuel L. Jackson isn't one of them either.

So where does that leave us - the lowly, unexalted people who have regular, unremarkable at best voices? Well, there's not much we can do about that. We'll just have to suffer through it.

The Elevator Companies Pulled Off This Century's Greatest Scam

Elevator companies know that things people desire the most are freedom and control; people want to feel as though they're in control of the situation, especially when they're stuck inside a claustrophobic metal box going up and down extraordinary heights. That's maybe why they invented the "Close Door" button - to make people think they have some kind of say regarding the behavior of the elevator they just walked into.

But they don't, really. Or at least we don't think they do. We're still not sure if that darned "Close Door" button does anything at all, but we're pretty sure it doesn't.

Gotta Get That A+ Lone Wolf Style

Some people just cannot for the life of them get the hang of working with other people. Sure, sometimes your groupmates are some of the most hopeless people in the world, but usually, they're just a bunch of regular people. And yet, so many people find themselves unable to work on group projects with their group and end up doing the whole thing by themselves. We're not sure how that's easier, but whatever works for them.

We are not the type of people to do this kind of thing, but we've met this guy. That's why this pie chart is interesting - it helps us understand what goes through these people's heads. Can you relate?

We Don't Even Know the Difference Between Bored and Hungry

This hits way too close to home. Anybody who's been bored at home alone with nothing to do knows the feeling of intermittently checking their fridge and staring blankly into its empty, poorly lit trays in the hope that some culinary miracle will reveal itself. But this is reality, and miracles seldom happen, and we're probably going to have to order pizza for the third time this week. It sucks to be us.

There is, however, a light at the end of the tunnel: One thing that can cure hunger rooted in boredom is water. Drinking hefty amounts of water makes the body feel full.

Mother Knows Best

That is, at least, what they say. Mothers may know best, but they also have a bit of a tendency to overreact when it comes to cold weather. Like, okay, mom, we'll wear those three layers of coats if you really insist, but it's only like 59 degrees Fahrenheit outside. Gosh. Also, don't our parents always complain about how spoiled we are with our air conditioning units and heating mechanisms?

Like, make up your mind - do you want us to feel cold or not? And yet, we do appreciate our mother's concern for us, even if she does overreact to the weather a bit.

The Duality of Women's Magazines

Ah yes, The paradoxical messages that are hidden inside every single women's magazine. It really is hard to know what to think and how to feel when you're constantly being bombarded by contradictory statements. One second the magazine will be all about body acceptance and self-love, and then promptly bombard the reader with a thousand ads for losing weight, coupled with pictures of unrealistic bodies. That is, at least, what this chart is trying to say.

Also, these weight loss commercials are always preposterous. Losing weight is a hard, lengthy process that should be done safely and through manageable, livable habits. None of that "lose 100 pounds every waking second" thing.

Let Us Formulate A Question First, Jeeze

Pretty much anybody who has ever wanted something from his mother has been in this situation. We know it too well - there's that one thing, that one thing you really, really want, but you already know your mother won't let you. And the thing is - she already knows what you want. So what ends up happening is that she straight-up rejects your request before you can even finish speaking.

That's what we call savage. We can't wait to be parents and flat-out deny every single one of our kids' requests. That just sounds like the best thing about parenting.

Shh, Can't Let the Kids Know What We Really Want

There are more than a thousand good reasons to have children. Some people feel as though being a parent is their true calling in life; some people find themselves through their dedication to their kids; some people feel humbled and gain perspective by watching a kid grow up into a full-blown adult; some people desire to carry on their lineage. All these reasons are valid, but they're definitely inferior to the number one reason to have children.

What could that reason be, you ask? Well, the answer is Legos. Yeah. People should have children in order to play with Legos again. Nobody can convince us that this isn't true.

Do They Even Realize How Expensive Glasses Are?

Some glasses just hit differently. We're not sure how some people's eyes get so dysfunctional, but we've tried on a few pairs of glasses that pretty much made us instantly blind. In fact, these glasses were so potent that we felt as though we were still kind of wearing them for a few minutes well after we had taken them off. That's just how dysfunctional some people's eyes truly are.

There are two sides to every story, though, and we're pretty sure the people with those superglasses are pretty much tired of hearing just how disorienting their glasses really are.

This Chart Kinda Reminds Us of Mr. T

We're not sure if it's just us, but this chart does kind of remind us of that one person: Mr. T! Yeah, this chart kind of reminds us of that Mr. T character. For those who aren't in the know, Mr. T is an American actor and professional wrestler mostly known for his role in the A-Team and his contagious catchphrase: "I pity the fool!" He's just one of those characters people grew up on.

We never knew you could kind of draw Mr. T with a pie chart, though. That's pretty neat, we guess. It makes us wonder who else you could draw with a pie chart.

Just Get to the Point

This is way too true. Thankfully, YouTubers are getting better and better at delivering content, and the days of some random guy with an obnoxiously loud intro, followed up by the poorest quality screen-cam in the world, hopelessly stuttering and stammering as he tries to explain the most basic of concepts are over. We still get shivers whenever we see that "Unregistered Hypercam 2" logo at the top right of the screen.

And of course, these Youtubers always hit you with that two-minute-long "don't forget to subscribe" speech. Like, even if we had any intention of subscribing, that absurdly long segment just made us reconsider.

Literally Every Time

This has got to be the worst reaction to being told that someone is colorblind. Like, we're not colorblind, so we definitely won't don't take offense to this, but we can only imagine how infuriating it must be to be asked "what color is this?" by almost every single person who finds out you're colorblind. Somebody needs to come up with a better reaction, or else the colorblind may just band together and take vengeance.

A few optional answers to someone telling you that they're colorblind could be: "That's cool. What colors can't you see?" Or perhaps even: "Wow. Does it affect you in your daily life?"

They Got Us

Most pie charts aren't really that personal. They're often boring and have pretty much nothing to do with whatever you have got going on in your life (and we're sure that you've got quite a lot going on). This pie chart, however, isn't like that. This chart really made things personal. It totally caught us red-handed and off-guard with the way it broke the fourth wall like that. You got us this time, pie chart.

But there is something this pie chart missed: We aren't just looking at the chart. No, no. We're breathing, moving our heads, and perhaps even drinking a glass of water. Therefore, this chart is wrong.

9 Out of 10 Doctors Agree With This Diagram

This is definitely one of the most vulgar graphs we have ever seen in our lives. Yeah, no chance of anybody ever teaching this graph in an educational setting. This is just one of those graphs you'll never see at a high school or a college. Whoever made this graph is really pushing the "graphs can be funny" agenda to its utmost potential. This is good because the world deserves funny graphs.

Also, there's absolutely no denying just how true this graph is. It's definitely got the cheeks-to-crack ratio down. Any other ratio would be blasphemous, making this graph both funny and educational.

This Chart Reminds Us of That One Video Game Character

This pie chart does kind of resemble that one iconic 90s video game character. We forgot his name. Was it Bac Man? Flack Man? Sack Tan? Oh, yeah! Pac-Man! Get it? The joke is that everyone knows who Pac-Man is. Not many people, however, know what he is. Many so-called Pac-Man aficionados believe that Pac-Man is a ghost. Well, that's absolutely false. There could not be anything further from the truth.

The truth is way less intriguing. Pac-Man is actually a Pac Person. So while that doesn't tell us much, it is a bit more interesting than a regular old ghost.

The Most Accurate Pie Chart in the World

There's absolutely no possible way to deny it - this pie chart is one hundred percent accurate. Nobody could possibly say that this chart does not accurately represent the amount of pie the pie chart poster has eaten as opposed to the amount he has of posting the pie chart did not eat. Look, we'll be the first to admit it - this isn't the funniest joke in the world, but it does make us smile.

It's just one of those jokes that aren't laugh-out-loud funny, but they make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Guess this pie chart could be appropriately termed a "dad joke."

What Kind of Arguments Is This Guy Having

We're not sure what kind of crowds the person who made this pie chart has been mingling with, but they've definitely got him all mangled up for sure. Maybe it's just us and our friends who are totally uneducated in the art of cinema, but who on Earth ends up searching things on IMDB for argumentative purposes? Well, definitely not us; that much is for certain. Perhaps we're just uncultured.

This does kind of make us wonder if we're just alone in our ignorance or if other people also have absolutely no idea why someone would use IMDB to settle arguments.

This Definitely Symbolizes Japan

If you look closely, like, really closely, you may be able to see that this pie chart kind of looks like the Japanese flag. You wouldn't be blamed for not spotting this, however. It's a tough one. There really isn't that much more to say about this pie chart. It is just a pie chart that looks like the flag of Japan. There really isn't that much more to it.

Sometimes, the best pie charts are the simplest. Even if it's not actually representing anything other than a flag. Now that we think about it, is this even a pie chart?

If You Look Closely, You Can See a Pyramid in the Chart

Hey, wait up. This is not a pie chart anymore. No, no. It's something else completely. This chart is actually a pyramid chart. If you look closely, like, really zoom in into the pie chart, you may be able to spot a pyramid. Yeah, crazy. We know. Not every pie chart features a pyramid, so maybe we should all take this moment to truly appreciate what we're looking at.

All in all, we guess this pie chart is pretty creative. We definitely would not have been able to think this up by ourselves. On the other hand, why would we?

Pie Charts Be Like:

This is an accurate representation of what most pie charts are like. There usually is a big part that represents the majority of something, and then a smaller part that represents the minority of something. Not much else we could say about this joke other than the fact that it is very meta. As in, it's a joke that references its own structure and that serves as the punchline for the joke.

What we mean is that what's funny about this pie chart is the fact that it tells us nothing else other than it's a pie chart. That is all there is to it.

It's Just Impossible

This is one of those early internet memes that only make sense if you were there for the early 2010s on websites such as 9Gag and Reddit and other key institutions of middle-internet culture. Ahh, yes. It was a different time back then. That was a simpler time, some would say; a time of peace and prosperity for small websites, when internet humor actually made sense and wasn't being dictated by the whims of teenagers and Gen-Z'ers.

We do feel a bit of unbridled nostalgia for that bygone era. But, alas, that's just the way things are. Things change, especially the internet. That era is long gone.

The Game Was Rigged From the Start

It's about time that somebody shined a critical light on the inappropriately named "Miss Universe." Like, come on. It's just so insensitive to name the contest after the universe when the only contestants are from Earth. That is just so Earth-centric. We're in the 21st-century; we really should be moving past these archaic, self-centered viewpoints and adopting a new, more inclusive perspective regarding our position in the universe. Or something like that.

It's about time that a contestant from Epsilon Eridani C won a Miss Universe contest. We need more cosmological diversity in top-model competitions. That's what the world truly needs right now.

He Just Won't Do It

It's true. Meatloaf himself said that he would run to hell and back; he'd never lie to you, and that's a fact; he'd never forget the way you feel right now. So you know, as long as the stars are burning, as long as the planets are turning - Meatloaf would do anything for love, but he won't do that. Get it? It's the lyrics from the song! What do you mean that isn't funny?

Anyways, we do kinda wonder what on Earth Meatloaf meant when he said "that." There's no telling what 'that" could be. We guess it's a good thing that he's setting up healthy borders.

Turkey's Most Important Contribution to Science

Ah, yes. The Fez. A timeless piece of fashion if we've ever seen one. Don't worry about the fact that pretty much nobody wears these nowadays; they'll come back. They'll come back spectacularly, too. A fun fact about the Fez hat, also known as the Tarboosh, is that it was once outlawed. Yeah, that's right. Wearing a Fez used to be an offense punishable by execution. Didn't see that coming did you?

Oh, how far we have come as a society. It's wild to think that there was a day when people would actually die over this hat. It makes you realize just how much things have changed.